Friday, October 29, 2010

Happy Halloween - Scary Economy!

Now this is scary, this is a real pumpkin

 The economy is so bad that...

. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

. African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials.

. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

. I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

. My ATM gave me an IOU!

. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

. I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from the U.S.

. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

. A truckload of Gringos was caught sneaking into Mexico .

. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

. A picture is now only worth 200 words.

. They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."

. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Great! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!

And, finally...

. I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, social security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...

1 comment:

Insightful and Useful Comment!